How a Week at Ashiyana Retreat in Barcelona Kicked My Ass (and Saved Me)Intro: The Reluctant Wellness Seeker

Look, I’m the last guy you’d expect to find at a wellness retreat. I’ve spent years keeping alternative therapies at arm’s length—swore they were all fluff and incense. NHS, big pharma, repeat. Tried a couple of therapists and dabbled here and there, but nothing stuck. And retreats? The last one I went to was such a nightmare I literally ran for the hills after the second day. But I hit a point where pain, depression, and the all-day, every-day ringing in my ears just became too much to bear. I couldn’t work, couldn’t sleep, and some days I didn’t even want to exist. So, yeah, desperate times.

Enter my mate Rob, who knew I was about two steps from imploding. He got me talking with this guy named Chris Nelson, the founder of Ashiyana Retreat in Barcelona. Chris is one of those people who just gets it. Over a few video calls, he listened while I rambled, stumbled over my words, and vented. The man has the patience of a saint and managed to make sense of my hurricane of thoughts and emotions. By the end, he’d somehow convinced me that this retreat wasn’t going to be another exercise in woo-woo nonsense, but a genuine, practical experience that might actually help me. And so, with Rob’s encouragement, I booked my spot, thinking, What the hell do I have to lose?

This is Rob my cat loving rocket scientist mad man, and best mate!

Arriving: A Wary Step into the UnknownThe flight with Ryanair wasn’t even the worst part of my day (which says a lot). I landed, met Rob, who thankfully was coming along, and a handful of other attendees. That drive up into the Spanish mountains was nearly two hours, but it was like watching the world I knew fade into the rearview mirror. By the time we reached the retreat, it was clear I wasn’t just physically removed from my problems; I was in a whole different headspace.

Chris and Toby, his partner-in-wellness-crime, greeted us with smiles that could melt the stoniest heart. I thought, These two must be faking it—no one’s this happy. But no, they were genuine, and their warmth actually made me feel like I might not be the odd one out here. They showed us to our rooms, and that evening we gathered for an intro session, where we all took turns sharing our stories. Even if my skeptical brain was quietly screaming, “Run!” I stayed. Something about the place, the people, made it feel like maybe—just maybe—this was the right place.

Toby - Me AKA Marcus Maxed - Chris

Day 1: Yoga (AKA Physical Hell) and ‘Spiritual Energy’ ExercisesNow, I’ve got to be honest: chronic pain and yoga don’t exactly mix. And fibromyalgia? That bastard of a condition makes any movement feel like torture. But I thought, Screw it, let’s give it a go. Toby was great, guiding us gently through the poses, but within minutes, my body was screaming. The pain was unreal, like every nerve in my body had joined forces to tell me to knock it off. I managed maybe 15 minutes before I had to bow out.

Thank God for the pool. I’d read up on hydrotherapy and took a stab at it every morning and afternoon, just floating and moving as much as I could without triggering that familiar agony. It wasn’t much, but it gave me a sliver of peace, which is more than I’d felt in ages.

Not to shabby view for hydrotherapy Blissful

Breakfast was a revelation—plant-based, fresh, and damn tasty. Now, I’m a proud meat-eater, but I didn’t miss a thing. The food was made with care, and, hell, it was good for the soul as much as the stomach. After we ate, we sat in a big circle for our first “spiritual exercise,” holding hands and feeling each other’s energy. I thought, Well, here’s where it gets weird. I’ve never been the “energy” type, but sitting there, hands clasped, I found myself…relaxed. Connected. And that was just the beginning of the weird and wonderful things I’d experience that week.

The Circle of Long Gazes and Soul-Searching

Now, here’s where things got a bit…intense. Picture this: all of us, sitting in a big circle, hands clasped, staring deep into each other’s eyes. I know, I know—sounds like something from a bad romance movie. I was bracing myself to feel ridiculous, but here’s the wild thing—I actually got into it. By the end of the week, I went from quick glances to full-on soul-searching eye contact, feeling the connection, the shared struggle, and, dare I say, a bit of love for my fellow humans. Turns out, long gazes and genuine connection aren’t as cringey as they sound. Yeah, I’m a convert.

Facing the F*cking TraumaThe retreat was designed to crack us open—gently. Each day, we tackled a different theme, usually some kind of trauma. I thought I’d already unpacked a lot of my baggage. Boy, was I wrong.

On the third day, we dove into “limiting beliefs.” I thought I was just there to listen. But the more people shared, the more something started clawing its way up from deep inside me. I felt like a kid again, scared and vulnerable. It was like someone had triggered a bomb in my chest, and every memory of being told I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, strong enough came rushing to the surface.

Emotional Floodgates and Zero Photo Evidence

I’ll admit, I had a full-on breakdown moment—a snotty, red-faced, heaving sob session right there in the middle of everyone. And thank God no one took a photo because, trust me, it wasn’t pretty. Instead, what I have are mental snapshots of this incredible group of people, lifting me up in ways I never expected, both literally and figuratively. Picture this: amazing humans doing wild energy exercises, forming this invisible net that kept me from sinking. Thanks for holding me up, gang—couldn’t have done it without you.

I tried to talk. Made it about two sentences in before my throat closed up, and my face started contorting. I bolted out of the room—fuck it, I wasn’t about to cry in front of these people. Chris followed me, and for once, I didn’t tell him to piss off. He sat with me, his words calm and reassuring, and I somehow pulled it together enough to go back. But when it came around to my turn again…well, let’s just say the floodgates opened. I wept like a kid who’d just lost his dog. Couldn’t breathe, couldn’t stop the tears. It was ugly, raw, but damn if it didn’t feel good to finally let go.

The Group and the Healing Power of Laughter Here’s the thing they don’t tell you about retreats: it’s the people who make it. We were 13 strangers from all over the world, each with our own baggage, scars, and stories. And by some miracle, we meshed. We laughed together, cried together, and, by the end, felt like family. Humor became our lifeline. Whenever things got too heavy, someone would crack a joke, and for a moment, the weight would lift. We didn’t need to fake positivity; we were real with each other, and that’s where the magic was.

Field Trip Friday: A Carnivore’s Confession

By Friday, we needed a little break from all the introspection (and, let’s be real, from the endless supply of cauliflower creations). So, we escaped for a field trip, and yes, I went straight for a steak. No offense to cauliflower, but it just doesn’t hit the same as a perfectly cooked slab of meat. I devoured every bite, savoring it like a long-lost love. Sorry, plant-based crowd—sometimes a guy’s just got to live a little!

The “BEST ME” Method: Actually Useful Shit Ashiyana’s “BEST ME” method isn’t some pie-in-the-sky, be-your-best-self crap. It’s practical, grounded, and it gets results. Chris and Toby taught us how to set real goals, identify our obstacles, and take action—tiny steps that build into something meaningful. By the end of the week, I had a toolkit I could actually use. I left with a sense of purpose, a bit of peace, and a support network of friends who knew exactly what I’d been through.

Captured in the Wild: Deep Thoughts with Manzi

Somewhere along the way, someone snuck a photo of me with Manzi, and I swear, I have no clue who took it. I’m clearly in a near-sedative state, lost in “deep thought” (or maybe just daydreaming about that field trip steak). It’s one of those candid shots that catches you off guard but somehow sums up the experience. Manzi beside me, and me looking like I’m contemplating the meaning of life—well, maybe I was. Or maybe I was just soaking in the peace that I’d been missing for way too long.

Leaving with a New Lease on Life (and a Lot of New Friends) As I packed up to leave, I took a moment to thank everyone—the friends who’d held my hand through it all, Chris and Toby for guiding me through the shitstorm that is my brain, and Rob, my friend who believed in me even when I didn’t. I left Ashiyana not as a changed man (let’s be real, it takes more than a week), but as someone who finally had hope, who could see a way forward.

A Tribe That Stole My Heart

Truly, this was an amazing group of people—each one of them stole a piece of my heart and, in some way, saved my life. We laughed, we cried, and we held each other up through every raw, painful moment. I went to Ashiyana hoping to heal, and I left with a family. These incredible souls? I’ll always call them friends.And yeah, I still struggle. The tinnitus is still there, the pain flares up, but now I’ve got tools. I’ve got people in my corner. I’m not on this journey alone.

"Finding Light at Ashiyana: Where Strangers Become Lifelines"

So, if you’re in a dark place, if you’re exhausted from fighting alone, maybe Ashiyana’s the place for you. This isn’t just a wellness retreat; it’s a lifeline. I arrived feeling like I was unraveling, ready to give up, and somehow left with a part of me restored. This place taught me that healing is possible even when it feels impossible. And it wasn’t just me—every single person in that group, each coming from their own battlefields, walked away lighter, with a little more peace, a little more clarity.

Ashiyana was a chance to breathe, to find peace, and to reconnect. Yes, the yoga and meditation pushed us out of our comfort zones, but it was the laughter, the shared tears, and the genuine support that brought the real healing. We held each other through breakthroughs and breakdowns. Some days, it was as if we were all holding a piece of each other’s burdens, just making things feel a bit more bearable.

And you’ll find yourself surrounded by people who will remind you, in ways big and small, that even in the darkest times, you’re not alone. You’ll find good food, laughter, and maybe a few life-changing conversations over tea. You might even find yourself taking a piece of each of those people back with you, as a reminder that hope—and healing—can show up in the most unexpected places.

"For more details on Ashiyana, check out the link below and connect with Chris directly. Mention ‘Marcus Maxed’ for a VIP experience—you won’t regret it!"

Ashiyana Best Me Retreat

"This is Just the Beginning"

Thank you for being here and joining me on this journey of healing, growth, and connection. This blog is my way of sharing the highs, lows, and everything in between—the moments that bring peace, the tools that help, and the people who make it all worth it. Follow along as I continue to explore what it truly means to heal, to help, and to find purpose. I hope that my journey inspires you to start, or keep going, on yours.

@marcusmaxed